Just a lump in the road

All is well, but I don't really feel like writing except to say thank you, thank you, thank you for donating to our fundraiser. We've raised over $20k so far! Plus about $2500 in corporate matches. I already knew I was surrounded by good people, and this just makes my heart swell.  The race itself was fun and meaningful— we even got interviewed by Channel 2 (WBBM) that morning. My favorite part was jumping in the lake with our medals afterward—such a great memory!  I'm back at work 100% and feeling it a bit! But all is going super well. Right now, I'm trying to wrangle some memory issues and inflammation from the radiation area. But for all intents and purposes, life is great.  I really am starting to feel like any additional verbal checking in and talking about how I'm doing contributes to cancer being my identity, which it isn't, although I don't discount the fact life is different forever on.  Thank your for being on this journey with me!  I look forward ...

Dear friends and family,  I can't believe I'm writing this, but it's true: I'm doing the Chicago Triathlon this year—as a relay team with fellow cancer survivors. :)  It's a surprise to me because I thought I'd have to pause racing this year because of the toll treatment takes on your body. And, as some of you might recall, I've opted not to distance swim while I have my port implant because the movement irritates the port, and it gets uncomfortable. But, I've exercised through this whole thing, so I'm in great shape. ... And then my friend—a fellow triathlete who was recently diagnosed with his own cancer—had the brilliant idea for us to do a relay. So we are! We anticipate it will a really meaningful moment at the finish line.  I'll be biking 25 miles as part of the relay on Sunday, Aug 25. If you're in Chicago, please come watch us!  And, I have a second part to this story too. All three of us on the relay team recognize how much easier it...

I went for my first Lake Michigan standup paddle on Friday at Montrose Beach. While on the water I thought about how much has changed since my last paddle last season, which for me ended probably early September. I wasn't diagnosed yet with breast cancer. I had found the lump, but I wasn't concerned, chalking it up to one of the many types of lumps women frequently feel in their boobs. In 9 months, I got the news, then completed most of my treatment. For cancer.   I am cancer-free now, and I wasn't then.  I sometimes rent a board from a shop at the beach. The same stoner guy works there every summer. He's friendly and always smiles hello, but doesn't use his words much, even when directly spoken to with a topic that begs a multi-word reply. It's OK. I can tell he's a man of about 50 words. He seems like he's misplaced, as if he should be on a beach in Southern California. But he's here, in Illinois, every season, faithfully.  When I got back to shore...

Here's what I wrote for my cancer centers' Cancer Survivor's Day at Wrigley Field this past weekend. I feel weird about it. I say that I'm going to be a patient advocate, but I'm not sure I want to talk about this stuff. I have time to figure it out. Sorry for the weird formatting. *** What foods should I eat to prepare for chemotherapy?  How much should I cut back on my workout during cancer treatment?  Who’s a personal trainer who works with cancer patients in Chicago?  Can I still get that ephemeral tattoo I’ve been planning? I heard when you said “no supplements” during this part of treatment, but what about a probiotic, or the inner part of an aloe plant?  Hey, after radiation ends, Is it OK if I fly about 2 weeks later? Can I go on a jet ski then? I thought I'd introduce myself by sharing some of the questions I searched the internet for and asked my care team since my Stage I breast cancer diagnosis last fall. And trust me, almost no department has been ...

When I've taken time off work in the past and then returned, it only took a matter of days to slip back into my work-life routine and for things to be the same.  Logically I could have predicted that would not be the case coming back to work post-cancer treatment, but having completed 3 weeks now, I have learned my past work-life routines and how I show up are different.  I can now attest to the effect incorporating work has on my healing. Heck, I haven't even been full-time yet thanks to the holiday day off and the 2-weeks-at-halftime ramp up policy, and the stress hasn't really been there--things are going great. Alas, my boob is swelling (an edema), and my instinct is to scale back on my social stuff and commitments to preserve energy for exercise and work, simply because I feel I need rest.  I haven't gone as hard in my workouts but have continued to exercise, and even at that slightly-scaled back amount, I can tell I still need to make adjustments.  Isn't that ...

This past week was hard. I'm so glad that work is going well, because otherwise this past week reminded me that I'm still recovering mentally and physically.  I saw my surgeon Monday for a 6-month follow up and got a great report. When I complimented how well the stitches healed, she returned it to me and said that being healthy played a huge role in the fact the scars are fading away nicely. Teamwork. :)  My surgeon told me that I'll need to go for a mammogram in a month so we can compare my boob before and after treatment. Along with breast checks, this is something I have no interest in doing whatsoever; both represent the beginning of this path I never want to have to embark on again. A friend suggested bringing someone with me to the appointment, which I'm open to.   So, I got to deal with those feelings.   An hour after that appointment, I met with a personal trainer. It went differently than I imagined, but it was good. By good I mean I followed alon...

I went back to work this week, and the best word I can describe it is dreamy. You read that right.  I had the best welcome back from teammates and others. The best. I truly felt joy seeing them, and I received so much warmth and even love back, it really makes me count my blessings. The only triggers I had were problematic, institutional terms in our work that we haven't solved yet!  I also reviewed final content from a big project I had been working on before I left, getting to see how the team finished the foundation we started and how they applied the content guidelines I drove. I couldn't tell the difference between what I wrote and what they wrote, which is amazing! This is what you want to happen! It was also dreamy because my directive from my new manager and partner lead recognized my leadership and strategy skillset, versus a more tactical starting point of, "Can you write this line of copy?" Like I said, dreamy .  There was a weird part I got through. I re...

My Florida trip brought paddle boarding, crystal clear waters, tequila, sunshine, and laughs with friends. My final few days before work are a wonderful balance of downtime, long walks with Monty, rest, and fitness. I was also asked to be one of the speakers at the hospital cancer center's Survivors' Day of Celebration this year. Yes, there's so much to celebrate!  And, it's fitting to share my reply to an e-poll question that I answered in a group of former colleagues. The question was, " If you could relive one year of your life, which would it be? "  Here's what I wrote:  " My first thought was age 26. I just remember it as coming into my own and having so much fun. Then I saw [so-and-so's]  mention of studying abroad, and my 2001 experience changed my life in so many ways. But my final answer, if I were to pick one year, would be this past year, actually!  "A year ago at this time I finally, finally just felt so comfortable in my own skin...

I can't believe 6 months have gone by since I left work. It's been 7 months since my diagnosis.  I'm relieved it's gotten easier by the week. I never want to go back to that first month, which was the worst because every step entailed waiting; there was no clear picture of what was ahead because every next step was dependent on the prior, which usually entailed awaiting results or appointments. Alas. That's in the past! Look at me now! I found out that I'll go back to work in a new org, potentially new projects, and a new manager. My temporary manager is a VP at Google, and when you look at the org chart, reporting into her makes me 3 below Sundar the CEO. 😂 This is temporary, as folks much more senior report into VPs in such a large corporation. I took a screenshot for posterity! By all accounts, I like this VP, and people like her, and I'm just open-minded AND appreciative of whatever facetime and relationship-building I'll have an opportunity to do w...

What a relief! As my care team predicted, a week after radiation ended, the side effects stopped increasing and started healing.  I promptly went out for drinks with a friend and ended up being celebrated by burlesque dancers. But I digress. :)  Thank the Lord, re: turn around. This means that my skin is less painful and has started to recover. It's peeling and cracking, and super sensitive because the fresh skin is coming through. All good signs. My fatigue is better too! I'm still making sure to rest, but I don't get as tired.  I've been advised to wait until 4-6 weeks after radiation ends (so, beginning of June) to start personal training. I will.  Now I get to mentally prepare to get back to work on May 13th. I think I'll be ready! 

My care team has commended my playbook for managing symptoms and dealing with cancer treatment.  I can't compare my cancer experience to others', because everyone's cancer is different. But, I can say that I'm coming out of this feeling like a better version of myself, and I didn't experience the intensity of symptoms that most people experience.  I'm a firm believer in doing what I can to manage what's thrown at me and take control where I can.  Here's my playbook for dealing with cancer in case it's helpful.  Note: If you think it might help to share with someone who has a recent diagnosis, I recommend first asking them if they're open to a perspective on managing life during treatment, sharing only if they say yes.  I treated food as fuel. I learned which ingredients reduce inflammation and which ingredients help the body recover, and I chose foods with them instead of comfort foods as often as possible. These ingredients can be found across c...