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Thoughts on shaving my head

 It's too fresh to have a meta-level takeaway, but here are a few thoughts about my newly shaved head:

1) At times, I absolutely fucking love the way I look. I want to go out to a bar in a great dress and just see what happens. In my head, it would be only positive outcomes, heh.  

2) At times, I hate the way I look. This is usually in a moment or situation where I used to love the way I looked. Moments where I felt like my best, sexiest self. 

3) I think it's bullshit that for white women, if you're bald, it's an expectation that you're sick, and that you should cover your head. No one would ever pity a Black or brown woman with a head wrap or shaved head. The search result for "headwrap" does not feature white women. You have to add the keyword "chemo" + "headwrap" to see white women. That is limiting and demeaning.

Related: This trickles through in (well-intentioned) messages of support: You look great. Now, how are you going to come that up?  

4) I have received some awesome compliments on the shape of my head! And how my ears are good for a bald head. And how ... the list goes on for what should warrant a nice-looking bald head. I didn't even know these things were considerations. Why are there standards for this thing? Where did these expectations come from? I mean, I love the compliments, of course. But it feels weird to feel "relieved" I have a "good" shape. 

We are funny people.

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