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How I'm doing: Pulling the cancer card to get quiet

Gosh. It feels like I'm slowly being poisoned. 

The 5th infusion is changing things up a bit for me. (In addition to that whole needing to shave my head thing.)

I experience the side effects faster rather than a few days after treatment, and they linger, ever so vaguely. I don't feel bad. But I don't feel like myself. And I wouldn't say I feel good.

I'm seemingly always on the brink of nausea, but never totally nauseated. I can tell my taste buds are ever-so-slightly changing (things taste blander or just off, and favorites just aren't any more). I'm not waking up hungry, even though breakfast is my favorite meal. Brain fog is getting foggier. And although I have energy to do All the Things, I'm modifying what I'm doing.

I'm tired.

On that note ...

I'm also going to pause on connecting with folks for a bit. I feel so cared for and supported when folks check in and ask me how I'm feeling. I reread messages you've left me, and the conversations we have lifts me up! Thank you. 

Because I need to recharge more now, and because I'm tired of my story (I've been answering the question, "How are you feeling?" every day, often several times a day, for 2.5 months now), I'm going to take a break for a bit on connecting. I'll keep this space updated with the truth. (There won't be a hidden story of how I'm "really" doing.)

I don't want to discourage anyone from reaching out, so I'm definitely sending a mixed message. I love a message with a simple "💜" or "thinking of you" sentiment. But, you just might not get a return message from me for a while.

Believe me, support is a huge factor in how well I'm doing! Thank you for helping me swap the time I've been using to connect for resting or recharging.

I love you, and thank you for being patient with me. 💙🤗

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