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How I'm doing (4th infusion): It's tiring to do hard things

It's getting tiring navigating hard things. 🥴 Every day seemed to have something intense to figure out. But, there's an 80+ woman playing the ukulele next to me at the infusion center, and it makes life good. 

All is well still, but yeah, this was a hard week, every day with ups and downs. Just like normal life, right?

My infusion went: Wellish. It took a little longer to put the needle in my port this week. And that moment was hard! 

My side effects: Are all picking up. :/ But, thanks to finding a cannabis nurse/doctor, I've got $300 worth of product to experiment with. Hah. 

Sweet moment: My dog, Monty, woke me up in the middle of the night with kisses while I was having shooting pains. 

UP: My white cell count went up since last week, so that's good! 

down: My hair started to fall out Christmas morning. Not unexpected, but it was a moment that signifies I'm not going to elude this side effect, something you hope for even though you know the odds. I'm grateful it isn't coming out in clumps, at least not yet, just shedding a ton if I grasp, comb, or wash it. 

UP: I went for a run for the first time since the lumpectomy and port surgeries, and the port didn't hurt! I felt so happy. I'm definitely going to sign up for a run/walk. I did this Christmas morning, motivated after my hair started falling out. 

down: I went for my first swim with the port, and it sucked. This was crushing to me. I'm hyper-sensitive to the port, but because the run went well, I really thought this might be OK too. Breast stroke was decent-ish. Freestyle would be fine until I felt it, and it was irritated.  I hate feeling it; it scares me to feel its presence. And I couldn't go through my typical outta-the-pool routine because I didn't want to lose a bunch of har, and I couldn't go into the sauna because it's not safe while I'm doing chemo.

I normally just work through things. I should try swimming again. I don't want to at all.

UP: I went on a date and my hair didn't come out during the date. No matter how much I know I'd hold my head high in the moment, I did not want that to happen. We went to an escape room. I joked and said if it came out while we were there, the review would be, "I escaped the panic room but my hair fell out!"

UPs and downs: Holidays are still hard for me. I haven't really gotten into good routines for each yet since getting divorced, so they're still a little weird. But I did get to spend time with cousins and other family, which I loved! 

Plus, it was my dad's 11-year anniversary since he passed on Christmas Eve, so that's a thing. And then other stuff. 

Alas, I think this is just life, or at least, life as an adult. We move through it and forward, don't we? We do.

Comments

  1. AnneJanuary 2, 2024 at 1:59 PM

    "This escape room scared the hair right off of my head! Just kidding, I have cancer. But still a pretty good escape room". 😉 Thinking of you, Happy New Year 🎊

    ReplyDelete
  2. DarienneJanuary 4, 2024 at 6:06 PM

    Ups and downs, and surely you're rolling with these as well as anyone can. Being able to joke on a date about your hair falling off is pretty awesome. Wishing you more ups than downs as this new year gets rolling!

    ReplyDelete

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