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How I'm feeling (2nd infusion): Still got this! And, that port.

I'd still sum up the first week of chemo as nothing I can't handle. ☀️😎 Let's see what this week brings!

Today's infusion went: Well 💪🏼  Smooth sailing (or saline-g 😆)! Also interesting: my totally normal comprehensive metabolic reading is starting to dip in areas. 

I still love the liquid Benadryl. 

I don't seem to taste or "feel" it in going through my body like some people, although the liquid going in feels cold at the site, at first. 

The nurses are the kindest people ever—so patient, even with the elderly patients who play the TV or their YouTube videos at the highest level possible. Lots of variety in what they watch!

THAT is how to understand the breadth of content on YouTube. If we wonder who is watching/listening to robotic, clearly AI-written "recipe" short video content that a robot woman reads aloud with completely unhelpful "directions", complete with an audience-interaction shoutout "hug" where it names someone who is watching, well, that's the audience. It wasn't useful content at all -- I don't think they even made anything? But she watched the whole thing and gave them those viewership clicks, so there's more to come. ....

Something that surprised me: I immediately started to feel achey today in places where I know my muscles are overused now right now, like my legs. This was instant compared with last week, when it took several days. I'm guessing this is because last week's caused inflammation, and that's what is going to get worse -- and the reason I'll need to not stray from my diet. I'm still eating really well, but sweets are getting more tempting these days! Good thing I had a gummy on hand for tonight! (Update: The gummy helped a ton, and I had one of my better night sleeps all week.)

Something I'm encountering: Getting a medical perspective on the effects of chemo and cannabis is taking more digging than I'd expect, and the medical dispensary I went to wasn't informative and had a hard time meeting me where I am--although I did get my 20:1 CBD: THC combo I wanted, so they still sold me product. In their eyes, this was mission accomplished and the woman with all the questions was worth it. Thankfully I have a few friends in my West Coast community who are my medical cannabis whisperers who I can turn to for guidance! I need deep dive into integrative medicine here in Illinois.

After 6 years in California and all the holistic medicine options (people who set up offices you can make appointments and visit), I totally assumed I'd find that availability here and more familiarity among my medical team aside from "people use it to help with side effects." I'm sure there are lots of legal things they can't comment on or can't provide referrals -- that's the vibe I get. It's just very different. I know my conventional medical team in CA would point me in specific directions, even if they can't make a recommendation.

Next I will investigate integrative medicine options.

Related: My acupuncturist is also a Chinese medicine doctor and can help me with medicinal mushrooms for rebuilding the immune system after chemo ends. I might switch to weekly acupuncture (covered by insurance!) if this pain keeps up too.

Fuck the That port: It's a pathway to healing. It's a pathway to healing. It's a pathway to healing. It's a pathway to heal... I write this because, although it's still healing (still!), it's going to be uncomfortable while I have it in. For example, sleeping on my left side: I can get a "fix" if I need it in a particular position, but it hurts. Pressing on it at all will be uncomfortable.

I'm told after a few weeks it shouldn't hurt though. I'm really, really trying not to be at odds with my port to keep the energy I'm sending to my cells positive. Alas.

My masking policy: I'm masking sometimes now, mostly when I'm going to be in tight crowds indoors, in medical centers, on public transport, and then if I know someone's got cold symptoms. But sometimes I don't. Just depends. 

Connecting with people with lifestyles like me who have cancer: It's been super helpful to talk with a fellow Chicago Triathlon Club member who was recently diagnosed with cancer in his thyroid. Our circumstances and treatment plans are very different, but some of the core things you navigate anytime you tell the world you have cancer are good to talk about. He too found his cancer early (his was diagnosed during a body scan after a cycling injury), and, after having surgery to remove the cancer and lymph nodes removed like me, spent 3 months completely focusing on wellness.

I also met a guy who is wrapping up a divorce now and, 8 years ago, had a stage I cancer he tackled. We both agreed divorce was way worse! For me, this is because more people have a familiarity with the "norms" of cancer, for better or worse, and it's something that happens to you. You're also going through this thing that's like a death after years of hard times leading up to it. For him, it's because in a divorce, you still know that you have a role and you have control in it, and it's a shitty situation. Versus with cancer, so much is beyond your control, and you find things (like wellness) to manage to help, but there's a lot you just give up control on and have to roll with. He admits there are more similarities there, but I get it.

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